It's My Heart
by E. Wallace
Summary: Beverly has a birthday gift for Jean-Luc.


This was the first story I ever posted, way back in 1998. Geez, has it really been 11 years?

Anyway, then as now, Paramount owns all things Star Trek.

It's My Heart  
by E. Wallace  
1998

They walked down the corridor in companionable silence, but as they drew closer to his quarters, she felt her hands start to tremble.

"Computer, lights, 50%," Jean-Luc said as the door closed behind them. "Brandy or tea?" he offered.

"Brandy would be lovely," Beverly said, taking her usual place in the corner of the couch. She slipped off her shoes, tucking her feet under her and smoothing her skirt over her knees. "Besides, it wouldn't be the same, toasting your birthday with tea -- even Earl Grey."

He groaned as he placed two small balloon glasses on the table and sat down next to her. "Please, no more toasts," he pleaded. He poured a generous portion into each glass, then handed her one. "There were enough at the party."

She felt a shiver run up her spine at the brief contact made when the brandy glass changed hands. Did he feel it too, or was it just her own anxiety? Did she have the nerve to go through with this? She could drink her brandy, kiss his cheek and leave. The box could remain in her pocket, and he would never know.

But she would know, damn it.

She would know she'd taken the coward's way out one more time. How long was she going to let fear rule her life? How long was she going to deny them both the happiness they could share? Beverly stared into the amber depths of the glass as though it held the answers she needed.

"Penny."

The softly spoken word brought a smile to her lips, and an unexpected peace to her heart. "That's my line, but I'll let you borrow it this once because you asked just the right question at just the right time."

"So what were you thinking about?"

"You." She smiled again, almost bashfully, at his raised eyebrow. Setting her glass on the table, she reached into her pocket and drew out a small, flat box. "I have a gift for you."

"But, the book--"

"This isn't the kind of gift one gives in a roomful of people," she said softly, her voice quavering.

"What is it?" he asked. His mind raced, trying to figure out what could be making her this apprehensive.

"Open it."

Jean-Luc lifted the hinged lid, his brow furrowing slightly at the object nestled on a cushion of black velvet. He gingerly removed it from the box.

About eight centimeters in diameter, it was an old fashioned paper weight, heart-shaped, in red enamel. A ribbon of gold draped across the puffed heart with a single word etched in flowing script--'Beverly.'

He raised wondering eyes to hers. Did it symbolize what he hoped? He searched her face and for the first time saw love shining there.

"I won't tell you that I'm no longer frightened. I am. But now, I'm more afraid of losing you without really having you. Whatever happens, I want to share it with you. I'm giving you my heart, Jean-Luc," Beverly whispered finally. "It's yours, now and forever."

He stared at her, relishing the words he had begun to believe he would never hear. 'Beverly loves me!' he thought exultantly. He closed his eyes, holding on to the moment.

She watched him, but no sign of his feelings showed on his face. Horror washed over her, and she started talking without realizing it. "Oh, God, this was a mistake. I waited too long, and now you've changed your mind. I'm sorry, Jean-Luc. Just forget I said anything." Through a haze of tears, she saw him watching her. She scrambled to her feet, but he caught her wrist before she could move away. "Please let go. I've made a mess of everything. I've got to get out of here before I make a bigger fool of myself."

"Don't leave," he rasped hoarsely.

"What?"

"Don't leave, Beverly."

Her knees went weak at the plaintive note in his voice. With a slight tug, he pulled her back down to the couch. She stared straight ahead, at the door, still hoping to escape. "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc. I've embarrassed you and humiliated myself. I--"

Gently, he cupped her chin and turned her to face him. "You've done nothing of the kind. I'm sorry I scared you. It just took me a minute to realize that this time I wasn't dreaming. My feelings for you haven't changed, they never will change. Beverly, I love you. Please, don't ever leave me again." He tenderly kissed her, sliding his fingers into her hair to pull her closer when she responded. With a small moan, she wrapped her arms around him, deepening the kiss. Coming up for air, Jean-Luc trailed kisses along her jaw, then down her throat.

"I love you, Jean-Luc," she murmured in his ear.

His arms tightened convulsively around her. He pulled back enough to look at her then touched his forehead to hers. "I've waited all my life to hear you say that."

Eyes shining, joy gave her the confidence to tease him. "You haven't known me all your life."

"Yes, I have," he said quite seriously, tracing her cheek with a fingertip. "My life started the moment I met you. And my life just began again."

The End

"Remember, it's my heart,  
The heart with which so willingly I part.  
It's yours to take, to keep or break,  
So please before you start,  
Be careful, it's my heart."

Be Careful, It's My Heart  
by Irving Berlin


End file.
